Stop! Thief!
by Calem de Vaniville
Summary: One-shot inspired by Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2. Emilio the Pikachu and his friend Piplup explore the woods and find Kecleon's market. But Emilio doesn't have enough money...


_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pok__é__mon or the Mystery Dungeon series. Pok__é__mon is property of Nintendo, and the Mystery Dungeon series is property of ChunSoft._

_This story is only for those 16 or older. So if you're not old enough, you might want to return._

It was a cold night in a wooded area somewhere. Emilio, a smart-mouthed Pikachu, and his partner, Piplup, were walking through the woods. The sounds of Hoothoot filled the air. Kricketune chirped all over. Emilio and Piplup were hopelessly lost.

"We're lost," said Piplup, "Better look at the directions."

"Sure," said Emilio. He took out the directions, which were on the back of an envelope. "It says for us to go…" All of a sudden, the wind roared in. A huge whirlwind approached the pair, blew them into a tree, and snatched the directions out of Emilio's grimy hands.

"Great," said Piplup. "We lost the directions! How the hell are we going to get out of these woods? They're starting to give me a rash!"

"Don't worry," said Emilio. "I have a map."

Emilio took a map out of his bag. He looked at it. This wasn't like any normal map. It had a picture of a huge theme park will roller coasters, rides, big tents, food stands, and loads of clowns. This was the silliest map that he ever read. It was a map of Wankyland, a theme park located some distance away.

"Here it is," said Emilio. "I told you I have a map."

"Emilio," said Piplup, "This is a map of Wankyland!"

"So?" said Emilio.

"We won't get out of these damn woods with a map like that!" said Piplup. "Great. We're in the woods, we lost the directions, and here we are lost in the woods with a map of Wankyland."

Piplup looked angrily at Emilio. He then grabbed the map from him and ripped it up, laughing diabolically. "MWAHAHAHA!" he laughed. "Now there's no more Wankyland crap!" He laughed so hard, he almost choked.

"Uh-oh," said Emilio. "Time to perform the Heimlich maneuver." Emilio grabbed Piplup and shook him. Piplup then regained awareness and slapped Emilio. "Are you trying to kill me?" he said.

"No," said Emilio.

The two walked a little further into the woods, Eventually, they saw a light. Emilio and Piplup approached the light. It was the light of a lantern. Then, the two heard a voice coming from the light. "Welcome! Welcome! Get what you need for adventures at Kecleon Market!"

Emilio and Piplup ran towards the light and soon found themselves on a market. This market belonged to a Kecleon. Kecleon was sitting near the light. He greeted Emilio and Piplup with great enthusiasm.

"Hello!" he said. "Welcome to Kecleon Market!"

"This was unexpected," said Piplup, "But we would like to buy your stuff."

Emilio looked around the carpet. He saw several fancy boxes – the right kind to be sent to Xatu Appraisal to be opened. They all looked nice, so Emilio thought about buying them all. He was so enamored with the boxes, he forgot that he didn't even have enough money to buy them!

"We'll give you two Power Bands and a Royal Gummi," said Piplup.

"Okay," said Kecleon. "That will be 650 Poké!" Piplup took the money out of his bag and handed it to Kecleon. "Here you go," said Piplup.

"Thank you," said Kecleon. "Would you like to buy anything?"

"Sure," said Emilio.

"What would you like to buy?" asked Kecleon.

"I'd like to buy all your boxes!" said Emilio. Piplup's jaw dropped. He thought, _What the hell is Emilio thinking? He's gonna buy this stuff and we can't even afford it!_

"Okay," said Kecleon. "There's 7 boxes, so that comes to 56,000 Poké." Piplup nearly fainted.

"Sure thing," said Emilio. "Let me get out my money." Emilio got out his and Piplup's money, hoping that he would get a good deal. He took out every last coin and gave it to Kecleon. But now Emilio was in for a big surprise…

"Hmm…" said Kecleon. "This is only 1,000 Poké…" Suddenly, Kecleon paused. He looked at Emilio and Piplup. Kecleon's eyes heated up and shot a sharp glance at the pair. His face turned red and he clenched his fists. Emilio and Piplup gasped and began to back up.

"Stop! Thief!" yelled Kecleon.

"WHAT" yelled Piplup.

"You sons of bitches stole my merchandise!" yelled Kecleon. "Catch those thieves!"

"Emilio," said Piplup calmly before shouting, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"

Kecleon whistled, and a whole swarm of Kecleon ran for Emilio and Piplup. The two tried to make a getaway, but they couldn't. There were too many Kecleon to avoid.

"Maybe it would be better if we fought them," said Emilio. "We do have some Wonder Ords that we can use." Emilio took out a Warp Orb and shot it at the head Kecleon (the one they stole from), but it didn't work.

"I know!" said Emilio. "A One-Shot Orb will work!" He fired a One-Shot Orb at Kecleon. It didn't work. These Kecleon were pretty powerful – at Level 90, as a matter of fact.

"How about talking to them?" asked Emilio. He talked to the head Kecleon. "What are you going to do to us?"

"As a result for stealing my precious goods," said the head Kecleon, "when we defeat you, you'll get the punishment of your life!"

"We have no choice but to fight them," said Piplup, "so here it goes!"

Emilio and Piplup sprang into action. They dealt with separate Kecleon. Emilio shot thunderbolts at the Kecleon, while Piplup tried to finish them off with BubbleBeam. However, this didn't work, as the Kecleon changed to match the types. Then Piplup tried using Brine on the Kecleon, changing them all to Water-types. Emilio used Discharge on them as the Kecleon thrashed away. He managed to faint all of them – except for the head Kecleon.

"Kecleon," said Piplup, "It's no use. Can you at least spare us? We'll give you back your boxes!" Piplup put the boxes on the carpet.

"Let me think about it…" said Kecleon. He pondered for a moment. And the result was…

"NO WAY!" yelled Kecleon. "You bastards stole from my store, and as punishment, I'm going to get medieval on you!"

"Gulp," said Emilio and Piplup.

The next day, Kecleon was seen walking out of a building. "That takes care of them!" he said. We now see Emilio and Piplup being led to a cell. They were in a jail for bad Pokémonl.

"So how are you doing?" asked the guard, a Magnemite. "Good. Meet your new prison mates, boys!"

"Hello, everyone," said Piplup.

"Hello, bastard," said one inmate – a Machop. "I'm Fisty; over there are Bug Juice the Shroomish and Killer the Clefairy"

"Interesting," said Piplup. "Are those Biblical names?"

"Yeah, Fisty is," said Fisty.

Emilio sighed. "I guess we can start all over here for the next seven years." Everyone started laughing.


End file.
